Feature Complete

...and the requests for Mystic Girl come piling in. Hey, there is no problem with that. I listen to them all, I really do. Sometimes I even take inspiration from them. Mostly I just laugh and ignore them like the prick that I am, but even my cold heart can warm up to suggestions now and then.

Of course they have to be good suggestions. But who’s to judge? Why me, of course! Didn’t I mention I was an authority on this stuff? (Oh! The power is so sweet!)

1) Double-teaming: Really, you people need to stop and think about these things. What a ridiculous suggestion! Here I am trying to make a great game and you throw these silly ideas my way. Why on earth would I stop at “double”? The party don’t start with two.

2) Make a game about snakes: Tentacles were starting to get boring, anyways. Snakes have much more interesting features, like eyes. Just look at that raunchy look the snake is giving her. Those beady little eyes turn me on like nothing else.

3) Sell the game in retail stores: I’ve already finalized a deal with my publisher and am making connections with adult stores across the continent. Now all I need to do is hope my CD burner holds out and my fingers don’t cramp up from cutting all of these cardboard boxes.

4) More Dragon Ball Z: Now we’re talking. Oh Goku, you stud.

5) More Furries: Furry porn is ranked higher than Demon Girl on Newgrounds. Obviously you guys aren’t obsessively voting 5 enough. You have failed me and I will punish you by withholding the numerous sexy catgirls that I had definitely planned to put in the game.*

6) Hurry the fuck up and fucking update your fucking site and making a new fucking game already: ... fuck!

7) Make the game in space: Those must be astronaut pants, baby, because your ass is out of this world! Lemme just slip off this space suit and I’ll explode all over- OH DEAR GOD.



*I bear no grudge against furries or the furry game in question. Also, ohmygodyouvoteddemongirlintothetop100iloveyouguys.