Familiarity Breeds Lust

An interesting phenomenon.

You load up a beautifully drawn picture with a perfectly bodied girl in the most sexy scene imaginable and then proceed to gaze at the poorly done scribbles on lined scrap paper on the next page. Why? Because you know who the girl in the second one is, of course. She’s from that game/anime/manga you like oh so much.

All of which sort of flies in the face of common sense, doesn’t it? Intuitively, one might think that after seeing the same face and same outfit over and over again, it might start to get boring. In general, the more familiar one becomes with a subject, the less interesting it gets. People need variety. People lust for the exotic. New faces, new situations, and new experiences are what we want, right?

But somehow Tifa is still hot.

And to be honest I don’t even like her that much.

So how come just knowing who a character is, even if she isn’t real, can make hentai so much sexier? There is obviously something to lust deeper than just seeing a pair of breasts and tab A being inserted into slot B.

Of course it would be a lame (but convenient) cop-out to just keep spouting rhetorical questions and vague statements, so I’ll have to put something of substance up for once.

Here are some of the aspects of familiarity that I think makes hentai sexy:

1) Affection – You like her. You want her to feel good. Knowing that she’s experiencing pleasure makes it all the better for you. But wait, you say, isn’t most hentai rape? Indeed it is. However, it’s also fantasy, and a very common theme in hentai is that everyone always enjoys rape at some point or another.

2) Antagonism – You don’t like her. Stupid whiny annoying evil bitch. Knowing that she’s been taken against her will is deliciously satisfying. Sure it’s mean, but that doesn’t stop it from being hot.

3) Desire – Wouldn’t it be amazing if she were real? Well she isn’t, but you’re not looking at hentai for a real companion now are you?

4) Disclosure – Sure she acts like a tough, independent, completely non-sexual woman all the time. But we all know she’s really a total nympho underneath.

And more that I’m not thinking of at the moment. Feel free to fill in the gaps.

The Closet

Are you in it?

No, no. Not that closet. God knows there’s enough “gay this, gay that” talk in the media these days. Don’t need me talking about it here. No, I’m referring to the hentai closet of course. And how I’m in it. And how you’re probably in it too.

Last week I mentioned how the most common reaction I see to hentai in any face-to-face conversation is people going nuts over how terribly sick and pathetic it supposedly is. In fact I’ve only ever heard otherwise once. However, you and I and millions of other people appear to disagree. The amount of hentai on the net is staggering. The amount in print and on video is equally so. If mankind is just a speck on the fabric of the universe, mankind’s hentai collection is a big, fat, phallus-shaped lump.

So one might think that the concept of enjoying erotic artwork might be somewhat acceptable by now. One might think. Unfortunately, in my experience people thinking is a rare occurrence. In my particular sorrowful case (oh how I weep in my shame), linemarvel and the-guy-who-totally-isn’t-linemarvel-at-all-what-are-you-talking-about remain two completely separate entities.

Conformity rocks, you know? Sure you could stand up for yourself and what you believe in... or you could just smile and nod and finger them behind their back*. It’s not like I’m going to look at hentai in front of them anyways. On the other hand, it’s always that dirty little secret that I have to hide. It’s always that avenue I can’t fully pursue. People always ask why no one has made a quality, sophisticated hentai game. It’s because anyone capable of making that game would be royally screwing over their careers if they did**.

Which is sad. But hey, enough about me, let’s talk about you, shall we?

What is your experience with hentai in your “real life”? Do you ever stick up for your so-very-pleasureful hobby? Ever find yourself in a situation where you don’t have too? Any stories about getting out of the closet? Or any plans too?

Thanks to the glorious anonymity of “teh intarwebs” you can splurge all the gooey details and stay in the closet at the same time! So post away!

*pun very much intended
**among other reasons. I smell another topic coming up...

I'm A Moron

So here I am, all sad that I still haven't gotten a single comment on any of the blog posts. I get a lot of hits to my site, surely someone would say something, right? Surely I'm not completely wasting my time, right?

Note to self: Enable the freaking comment system. -_-;;

So sorry to anyone who tried to post before! I just noticed the queue of comments in the system that I was apparently supposed to approve. Now you should be able to post comments directly and have them show up right away. And if you try and it doesn't work, email me and I'll try to find what stupid setting I missed this time.

Why Real Women Are Ugly

“Who the hell gets off on cartoons? Why don’t those freaks look at real women?”

Sound familiar? That’s what I hear every time the subject of hentai comes up in a real life conversation. And about as many times as I hear those words, I’m smiling and nodding and agreeing with them. Does that make me a liar? Sure, but I’ll be damned if conformity doesn’t make my life so much easier.

But that’s a topic for another day. For now, let’s just deal with the questions:

Q. Who looks at hentai?
A. Me, you, and most of Japan.

Q. Why don’t I look at real pornography?
A. There is very little porn that has real women in it. Or rather, as I like to say, “I used to like porn before I learned to use Photoshop”.

First off, a picture of a real woman is not a real woman. It’s a picture. It’s ink on a page. It’s pixels on a screen. What’s the difference between a picture of a real woman and a cartoon woman? Trick question. They’re the same thing.

Secondly, pictures of women are almost always photoshopped to hell and back. Ever seen a porno mag? It’s a bunch of paintings, not photographs. The women are super-deformed. It looks grotesque. Women don’t have pencil thin waists, flawless skin, gravity defying breasts and perfectly sculpted hair. That’s called “special effects”, not reality.

Third, even in real life the average porn star is not a “real” woman. She’s usually half plastic. Breast implants, lip implants, coloured contacts, several pounds of make-up (covering the entire body), tricky lighting schemes, buckets of hairspray, etc.

In fact, the entire process of making porn is based around making the women look “better” than reality. The problem is, we know what reality looks like. Ever heard of the uncanny valley? If not, look it up. It applies. Altered women aren’t hot, they’re gross. They offend my sensibilities. They just are not sexy*

So how does this all not apply to hentai as well? Hentai is fake from the start. It’s accepted that you’re dealing with fantasy from the moment pencil hits paper. There is no trickery, there is no uncanny valley, and there are no unnatural alterations. It’s just fantasy, not altered reality, and fantasy is hot.

*Of course I’m generalizing. I do look at “real” porn, but it’s got to be tastefully edited at least. Videos suffer less from this problem, but it doesn’t stop the women from looking freakish a lot of the time.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Hentai: Calculating Weirdness

Even the most rabid hentai addict will occasionally encounter a particular breed of art that appears to defy all human comprehension. Under these circumstances it is important not to panic, and to handle any logical processing of the image in one’s mind with the following rating procedure:

Compare the image to all of the following statements and when applicable add the appropriate weirdness values to the image’s total weirdness count. Ratings scale from 0 (Completely normal) to 125 (Vomit inducing batshit insane retina scarring horror beyond words).


Category 1) Rationality

a) The image contains figures with proportions beyond what is considered normal. (Examples: Unreasonably enlarged breasts, gigantic penises, masses of fat or musculature, stretched/squashed/otherwise misshapen body shape) (+1 per figure).

• The sexual focus of the image is on the exaggerated proportions (+1).
  
• The proportions are outrageous to the extent of being physically impossible (+2).
  
• Genitalia in the image is large enough to be considered lethal weaponry. (+2 per weapon).

b) Figures in the image engage in sexual acts that defy the rules of basic anatomy. (Examples: Large insertions, nipple fucking, ass-to-mouth tentacle penetration, inhuman flexibility) (+2 per act).

• The acts would result in death if attempted in real life (+3 per act).
  
• The acts are causing death in the image (+5).
  
• Seeing the acts makes you wish you were dead (+5).

c) Figures in the image are not real types of beings beings. (Examples: Fantasy creatures, tentacle monsters, furries, robots) (+1 per figure).

• The imaginary creatures perform sexual acts with one another (+2).
  
• No real beings are present (+3).

Category 2) Obscurity

a) The sexual focus of the image is on a subject not typically thought of as being arousing (Examples: Feet, armpits, excrement, socks, fully-clothed pre-pubescent girls holding teddy bears) (+1 per fetish)

• You just added 3 or more points (+5).

b) The image is based off subject matter that contains little to no sexual content (Examples: Calvin and Hobbes, Cars, Trauma Center) (+2).

• The original subject matter was targeted at children (+3).
  
• The original subject matter was targeted at babies and toddlers (+5).

c) The subject matter is something you’ve never heard of. (Examples: Obscure anime/manga/game that two people follow religiously) (+1)

• The original subject matter was already sexual content (+1).

Category 3) Offensiveness

a) Add +2 for all following themes that apply:

• Rape
  
• Racism
  
• Sexism
  
• Pedophilia
  
• Infantophilia
  
• Violence
  
• Torture
  
• Mutilation
  
• Necrophilia
  
• Bestiality
  
• Feces
  
• Slavery
  
• Sadism
  
• Transvestites

b) The total amount of points from a) was 8 or higher (+5).
c) 20 or higher (+10).


Category 4) Gruesomeness.

a) The image contains blood. (Examples: Knife wound, popped cherry, bloody vomitting) (+1).

• It isn’t just virgin hymen-breaking blood (+2).
  
• Lots of blood (+2).

b) Figures in the image are injured. (Examples: Bruises, broken bones, bandages, cuts) (+1 per figure).

• The figures are in the process of being slightly injured (+1 per figure).
  
• Severely injured (+3 per figure).
  
• Killed (+5 per figure).

c) Figures in the image are missing limbs (+3 per limb).

• Those figures are engaged in sexual acts (+3 per figure).
  
• With the parts of body that are missing the limbs (+5).
  
• With the limbs (+10).

Tally up the totals and compare with the following chart:

The image is:

0-5 – Completely normal.
6-15 – Relatively harmless.
16-25– Somewhat disturbing.
26-50 – Definitely offensive.
51-75 – Excruciatingly painful.
76-100 – Mind-blowingly horrendous.
101-125 – Born from the depths of hell.
126+ - Beyond the scope of this guide.

Congratulations, if you’ve reached this point (alive) you are now a more informed member of the hentai community and are mentally scarred!